Another 4-for-6 week is in the books as far as my guarantees are concerned, and I can't help but wonder if I'll ever look half as smart as I pretend to be (the answer is obviously no, but humor me.) Just as I started bragging about my picks against the spread, I go 0-for-2 against it.
I'm still not sure how South Carolina failed to cover, and that one hurt might wallet nearly as much as it hurt my pride, but we live and we learn. This week, it's not a very riveting SEC schedule, so I'm gonna have to get especially outlandish with my picks.
So, as always, here are six things I KNOW will be true in Week 8.
1. Kentucky defeats Jacksonville State, but wins by less than two scores.
Kentucky has a huge SEC matchup next week when they take on Ole Miss. Granted, it's only "huge" because it is probably going to be their only real shot at a conference win this year, so Jacksonville State looms as a potential trap game for the 'Cats. Luckily for Joker and the gang, Kentucky had a bye week leading into this game, so I think they'll avoid being upset by FCS Jacksonville State. I think they win, but they are still Kentucky, so I don't imagine they run away with this one.
2. Arkansas hangs 50 on Ole miss.
Ole Miss is really bad. Arkansas is pretty good. However, putting up 50 points on the road in the SEC isn't exactly the easiest thing to do. Alabama was able to do exactly that in Vaught-Hemingway Stadium just last week, but they're Alabama and Nick Saban creates football players like God creates light. Arkansas isn't in Alabama's league, as evidenced by the 38-14 drubbing they took at the hands of the Crimson Tide earlier this year, but Arkansas can score some points, and I think they score a half-hundred more this afternoon.
3. MOST PAINFUL PREDICTION EVER! Alabama covers 30 points against Tennessee.
The Third Saturday in October is easily the most historically significant rivalry in the history of the SEC, but it's a game that has constantly been played in runs. Bama has won the last four, and never have these two teams been this far apart. Bama is at the mountaintop and Tennessee is in a bit of a rut. I pray that I'm wrong, but I think Bama wins this one in an absolute rout. However, I STILL won't give a damn about the whole state of Alabama.
4. Vanderbilt covers the 11 points they are giving against Army at home, but just barely.
It appears as if Vanderbilt might have been able to schedule themselves into a bowl game this year, but if you ask people in Nashville it's because James Franklin is a genius. Army hasn't been great this year, but you can never take a service academy lightly and you can be certain that they come to play. It's weird to say that Vandy has more talent than ANYBODY, but they do this week, however I think Army hangs around. Vandy wins by more than 11 and less than 17.
5. LSU beats Auburn and Honey Badger still don't give a ____.
First of all, I'm not sure what synthetic weed is but if Auburn somehow steals a victory this week in Baton Rouge I think that Gene Chizik will owe it to himself to smoke a little bit of it out of respect. LSU will be without their leading rusher and their most dynamic defensive playmaker, but I think LSU is too loaded for it to matter. I don't think LSU smokes Auburn (brutally obvious pun intended,) but I don't necessarily think this one is close either.
6. Next week's LSU/Bama game will be referenced NO LESS than 50 times in SEC games today.
I'm not sure how exactly to tally this, but to be honest there is a decent chance that this prediction is exceeded in the Bama/UT game and the LSU/Auburn games alone. I understand, it is the job of the networks to hype what may be the biggest game of the year, but I'd like to pretend like Tennessee matters for at least three hours this week when they play the Tide.